It's been a long standing joke in our family that we speak 2 languages: English and Hillbilly. Red neck is in all of us so we don't count that as a separate language as it is intrinsic in our nature. Moving back to Grants Pass, I have been reintroduced to the idea of hillbillies and their overwhelming sense of entitlement to wear overalls with no shirts and no shoes in a store. I'm not kidding. I've seen it just the other day. A lady next to me advised me not to stare as it skeers 'im.
Over email to a friend of mine in Seattle, he had noted that he didn't see any hillbillies in our house pictures and further suggested that maybe our mental versions of hillbillies differ. Below is my response:
"My image of a hillbilly looks a bit like [our dear friend who is tall
and narrow and devastatingly handsome (Hi, Snausage!!!)] ... just take all of his teeth from the front and put them in mangled rows next to the teeth in the back, shave his head bald but leave fringe so it's a mock skullet, add 30 pounds of gut, hold pants up with either duck tape or twine (or a combo), place a hayseed betwixt lips and top with two lazy eyes. Oh, and no shoes please. Oh, and tiny tank top with some shitty comment on how the wearer goes from "Zero to Bitch in 30 seconds."
There. Is that what you see in a hillbilly? I thought so.
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