Nice Attitude

Driving down "the main drag" of G.P.this morning, I noticed quite a few vehicles (mostly large trucks with the shiny metal balls hanging from the trailer hitch) sporting the sticker of Calvin peeing on the words "Tree Huggers". I've been away for 7 years so I can't speak to what has happened between these folks and the Tree Huggers, but I hope that there is a sticker for the latter. Something like a Douglas Fir peeing on the words "Good Ol' Boy".

How Do YOU Spell Relief?

Relief is finding out you didn't get a parking ticket when you neglected to move your car on time. Relief is discovering that your favorite mascara is not discontinued but simply relocated to a better spot at the counter. Relief is having a washer and dryer IN YOUR HOME!!! Courtesy of my very own Oma (Grandma Lola), Dustin and I have our first washer and dryer IN OUR HOME! I haven't felt this domestically pleased since I had broken a toilet (it's a long story involving a jar of pickles that I'd rather not get into right now)and finally had it fixed after 5 days without it's VERY convenient services. No more scrounging up quarters and getting territorial at the laundromat on an early Saturday morning. Nope. This chick can wash her unmentionables at any hour of the day now. And she can wash her laundry, too!

What Does Hillbilly Mean to You?

It's been a long standing joke in our family that we speak 2 languages: English and Hillbilly. Red neck is in all of us so we don't count that as a separate language as it is intrinsic in our nature. Moving back to Grants Pass, I have been reintroduced to the idea of hillbillies and their overwhelming sense of entitlement to wear overalls with no shirts and no shoes in a store. I'm not kidding. I've seen it just the other day. A lady next to me advised me not to stare as it skeers 'im.
Over email to a friend of mine in Seattle, he had noted that he didn't see any hillbillies in our house pictures and further suggested that maybe our mental versions of hillbillies differ. Below is my response:
"My image of a hillbilly looks a bit like [our dear friend who is tall
and narrow and devastatingly handsome (Hi, Snausage!!!)] ... just take all of his teeth from the front and put them in mangled rows next to the teeth in the back, shave his head bald but leave fringe so it's a mock skullet, add 30 pounds of gut, hold pants up with either duck tape or twine (or a combo), place a hayseed betwixt lips and top with two lazy eyes. Oh, and no shoes please. Oh, and tiny tank top with some shitty comment on how the wearer goes from "Zero to Bitch in 30 seconds."
There. Is that what you see in a hillbilly? I thought so.