Sugar Ants

NOW I remember the charm of Southern Oregon... sugar ants. They are brown, tini-tiny, and smelly... like a crushed battery or the inside of a flute case (nerd alert!!!). In the middle of the night, even when you have taken such pains as bleaching the counter tops, they come in droves. We tried bombs, bay leaves, love, and hugs... these ants don't care. They are here. The are non-discriminatory. They like cat food, coffee, Splenda, vinegar, mustard, EVERYTHING that humans like. All of the food (dry and or preserved) is now stored in our brand new Frigidaire. Even unpopped pop corn. Even baking soda. Lord, help us. After week two, it isn't uncommon for the first person up to exclaim (in vain), "Shit! Their in the (insert whatever here). Shit!" Welcome to my home! Can I offer you an ant martini?